Wally was not suicidal, I just wished he were.

Some say that drinkers and drug users should not be pitied for they have rushed into addiction

with the greatest desire to become just that, An Alcoholic or Addict....And take pride in as well.

And also believe that if they are a "full-blood" that no harm is being done to them.

When did this self subversion begin.....In the Long Ago Past...Im am most certain.

Wally was surrounded by family members who lived in that same lie.

Even his High School Coach in Oklahoma convinced him,

"It was OK to take drugs...there was nothing wrong with it"........

Coach shot him up with Herion in his big toe. He still has the tracks from last I saw.

Wally, you are a disgrace, you dishonor the people, yourself.....

you think you have been in control, when you have been used

by ones you should have been able to trust.

You have become a hollow man without a soul. You have wiped your self away forever

with Alcohol/Drugs never to be found. You have obiterated your existence............forever.

"It is over," I said

"No" he said

"It's over, Im leaving", I said

" Dont call, dont write, dont come see me

"You'll be back" he said.

"No I wont" I said.

And I left,

You did come to see me and you

tried to hold and kiss me... there was no spark....

I turned away...... and drove far away as well.

You did call, I hung up.

I never planned it to last

although we could have been lovers forever....but you chose to do me wrong,

you had other loves whiskey, smoke, and crack

I wont be back.